Wilder Announces For Mayoral Race

In a somewhat surprising move, former Governor and former Richmond Mayor Doug Wilder stated late this afternoon that he would be running for a second term as Mayor.

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While known for past abruptness and eccentricity, Wilder, now a VCU professor, has managed to surprise even the most jaded local political advisors with this latest announcement. It is jarring given that he is scheduled to moderate a Mayoral candidate forum just later this week. According to early media followup, Wilder said that he plans to fulfill that moderator duty and still debate opponents “with one hand tied behind my back”. He described his platform as one of “transparency and public accountability”, right before going into a closed meeting with local business leaders.

In other mayoral candidate news, former state Delegate Joe Morrisey announced a politician’s baby-kissing competition and said he enjoyed commenters’ ‘Better Call Joe’ cracks in reference to ‘Better Call Saul’. Activist Rick Tatnall announced that he would be taking his van on a summer tour of other localities named Richmond so he could bring back what’s best for Richmond. Activist Alan Schintzius announced that he had asked Rick if he could borrow his van this summer. Activist Lillie Estes announced a new inspirational slogan for her campaign. Chad Ingold announced he would be teaching some more classes and passing out a syllabus soon. City Council President Michelle Mosby announced that she is thinking about buying a new car, maybe one of those new Teslas. Councilperson Hilbert said he appreciated all of the candidates’ announcements so far and might make one of his own. Councilperson Jon Baliles said something quietly that folks had trouble hearing but also was heard saying that his statement would be available on his FaceBook page later. Baliles’ old rival, Bruce Tyler, said something testy in response, but testily added that no, he did not care to repeat it. Jack Berry, former director of Venture Richmond, suggested that Richmond residents better vote for him or the Folk Festival may not happen this year. Charlie Diradour reminded voters that he was running for City Council, not Mayor, while Councilperson Charles Samuels reminded voters that he was not running for Council or Mayor. Silver Persinger is engaged to be married.

Editor’s note:
Alright, folks, I hope I covered everybody. And yes, all the posts on OregonHill.net today were April Fool’s Day pranks and should fall under the protected category of parody, which means most of them are fiction. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.

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